My baby sister died this year. It really sucks and I miss her so much. It's almost Christmas time and it's really hard without her here. I miss her laugh, her humor, talking to her and just being with her. I think of her every day whether it be a memory, a song, or just that she's with me. I hope she is. I feel like she is. One of my ways of visiting her is in my yoga class. When I go into a meditative mode at the end of class, I imagine myself climbing this ladder to another portal where I am in a place that is currently the season here in my earth world. I see a log cabin, very simple with a porch. It has a big porch with rocking chairs for my sister, her husband, my mom, dad, and grandparents. Jean waves to me from the entrance and smiles her beautiful, perfect smile. She is young, she is beautiful, her skin is like porcelain and her hair is long and flows with every movement she makes. I hear her laugh and her greeting with a wave "Hi Missy!" We embrace and I feel her hug and stroke her hair like I did when she was little when I shared a room with her and tried to get her to sleep at night.
Jean is always wearing a long dress or sometimes jeans with a pretty top. For some reason she always has cowboy boots too which goes along with where she is. Her log cabin is rustic, cozy and feels like a home you would see in Montana. After we embrace and hug she tells me she loves me and that she is sorry for leaving me and my family, but she is no longer in pain. She is happy with her husband she never met, whom is tall, has dark hair and a genuine smile. Her children are fraternal twins. They don't have names, but they are miniature versions of her with auburn hair. They stay young forever just like she does. Every time I visit they are smiling and laughing. They run and play or sometimes my dad and grandfather are swinging them up in the air or playing ball with them. My mom is young, happy and her face is peaceful she is always smiling. Dad is young, fit and still making everyone laugh. He also likes to dance with mom every now and then when I visit. Grandpa is young like he was in the war and he smiles every time he sees me and says "hello doll." My grandmother is with him and she is happy and is always holding his hand. She is young and her smile is radiant when she sees me. I hear her laugh with my grandfather as they play with Jean's twins. Cosmo, Monti and Jazzie are also with Jean and they run free in the fields near their log cabin. The last time I visited her it was winter and everything was cozy. There is no technology, just music playing always. When I spend time with her I tell her things like "I miss you, I love you." I also tell her about how sad I am that my other brother, Jeff, isn't speaking to me. She always responds with a hug and tells me "everything will be okay." Which leads me back in my mind to where I see my body now sitting in yoga class and my teacher says these exact words. I hug Jean and my family and run to the portal to get back to the present day of life on earth and when I open my eyes I am calm and content. And I still feel the warmth and love of my sister.
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