Tomorrow I am entering the last year of my 40s. It may be morbid to think of it that way, but that is the reality. This thought helps me to embrace my existence. AS I AM. These days women our age are bombarded with images of beautiful women conveying the message of perfection. Whether it be through the JLO's or the ads pressuring you to try this product to look 10 years younger. Don't get me wrong, I want to look good, but I want to look good for MYSELF, not for the world.
I've always had trouble finding the pleasure in celebrating my birthday due to my parents rarely showing excitement for the day I was born. The majority of the time was spent on doing something they wanted to do rather than asking me. Since this is how I was brought up, it has been difficult for me to celebrate my life. But this year I've decided to STOP IT. Next year I am approaching 50. That is a BIG deal; a big number. As everyone says, "half a century old." Yikes. It's true. So, do I want to spend the last year of my 40s being depressed and anxious about my life? NO. I am going to find ways to improve my health and my life.
1. I am no longer going to compare myself to other women. I am me. I can make healthy choices for myself and I know the formula. Let's be real, there is no magic potion. Move every day in whatever brings you joy and eat whole foods as much as possible. Sleep is so important too. If you are having troublesleeping, be an elementary school teacher; you will fall asleep at 7:30 and wake up bright and early the next day to make time for yourself.
2. I am no longer going to say "it is what it is." Or at least try not to. I am now going to choose how to react within my circle of control. Can I control what is happening with the pandemic? Can I control the world issues we see today? NO. The only thing I can control is my perception. I can control what I say. I can control what I choose to do each day and find ways to be kind and productive in my community. Teaching is a huge part of my role in helping.
3. Don't let the squids ruin your day. You know these people. They are TOXIC. Stay away. Just smile, nod and say "Thanks! Have a great day!."
4. I have high school kids. Let's just say teenagers are HARD. We've been through most of the challenges and they have tested us many times. But, it doesn't last forever. I am no longer going to question whether I am a good mother. Did I get help when needed? Yes. Do I talk to them? Yes. Am I their life cheerleader? Absolutely. I have realized they are going to make mistakes. This is life. Mistakes help us grow. Perfection isn't reality and they will make their own decisions regardless.
5. And finally....I heard this quote the other day, "When we accept ourselves, we truly shine." I am going to accept myself. I am accepting my traumatic childhood because if it wasn't for that experience, I would not be the person I am today. If people don't accept me, oh well. Their problem, is not my problem. I am human and I am allowed to have emotions. If I am sad, I will express it and get emotional. If I am angry, I will do my best to express it (I am working on this more). I am not a robot.
As the cliche goes, life is short. This statement is so true. I think it's important to ask ourselves "why are we here? What is my role? What is my passion?" But, I also believe we cannot drown ourselves in anxiety and depression when seeking the answers to these questions. I don't want to live the life of the world and let it control me. I just want to be. Cheers to 49!
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